In African cultures, a man doesn’t have the right to cry despite the grief he is through and the pain he feels. A real man it’s said must hold back his tears, he has in every hard situation to develop a thick shell made of power, strength, hardness to cover his soft side and his tears. For a man to be able not to show his tears and fragility, he (the man) should know how to control his emotions. Crying is a women “performance”, and one of their strengths. We always tend to forget that crying also relieves the person doing so; this helps to evacuate what hurts, what oppresses, because it is by then that the person reaches the acceptance of inner pain. Instead of accepting the power of healing tears, man tend mostly to takes refuge in the action, he will prefer to erase it in his memory and redirect his thought to something else. He will hold back, hides, and refuses to face his pain , do violence to his soul, more often he will hide his pain in alcohol, tobacco, fights, and harm the others... or himself.
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